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Post by Sigvard_the_Swede on Dec 8, 2013 0:43:00 GMT -5
hi to all, i know it has been long since the last post of mine here, but, i am needing advising from people who are not so nonmature as my friends, from people who are not judgeing, from people who are not sick to hear of my girl situatiens. i am still not beleiving that i am the person who has girl situatiens. this is never happening to me before, well, before 2010, before ebba is come into life, before ebba is to try to ruin my life with her bad tretment of me (but also, i am admit, before i try to ruin my own life with bad tretment of her). ever since ebba, i am having nonstopping problems. why did this even have to happening, i was happy before her, i did not want to 'fall in love,' i was okay with the life as it used to be, even if i was haveing certan problems that were cause people to say i was have unhealth romantic life (actual, no romantic life) becuase of sex addicten (even thogh, it was not an addictien, i am telling you, i just haveing the high drive, and people who are judgeing me for this do not even understand abot these things, it is annoying).
anyway, you are know all this allready. well, i am not even get into the problems i have been haveing lately. the short versien is that after the posts i am make about ebba braking up with me in 2012, that cristmas we got back together aftre we are random see eachother at a party and she was just look for the 'one time thing' becuase she was still single and was annoy about it, or whatevre (she is vary traditienal about these things and woud not evre just go find a person to sleeping with without relatienship), but, the next morning, i was feel extremely strange, and thogh this is embarasing, i was cry and cry and could not stop to this crying, and aparently, this was extremely atractive to ebba (and perhap, i shoud find that a little...to be concerning, but who is to know. ebba is vary fond of the men who do thing like cry, sew, behave like girls, thogh she insisting she is not like women and infact reacted extremely poor the one time i am attempt to convince her of the threesome). she is hold me and comfert me, and we went to get food, and then to look at ligts and cristmas stuff, and it was vary romantik or whatevre, and ebba is ask that we come together again.
i realise, i shoud have told her 'fucking to the no,' since evrey time we are get back together, she is hurt me and i am make her mad, things do not go so good, she brakes up with me, and the brakeup hurts even worse evrey time. but, i am idiotik when it is coming to ebba. and so, we are back together.
it is not even march when ebba is brake up with me again. i will not even tell detales, but basic, she is complete enrage with me when i told her last minute that i was going to denmark with friends for drinking. she was the upset becuase she is haveing school all week and she nevre sees me and wants the weekend only for us, and was wanting to go ski that weekend. well, i said yes to the ski, but saying yes, this does not mean, i am PROMISE to go ski. it is mean, i will go ski, unless something really cool is come up instead. and going to copenhagen with some of my most crazy old frends from the bording school that expeled me for throwing some alcool bottles throgh some windows and writing my name on a wall, in the urine, (yes, i was drunked), well, that does count as really cool. ebba, i guess, was disagree, becuase she is complete lose it, yell at me, tell me i am empty head and only want to party and remembre stupid things from school years, that my friends are idiots who dont care about me and only encorage me to do bad things, that she cant even tell her friends about me becuase i am embarass her so much, that she cannot undrestand why she always gets back together with me when it is obvious, i will nevre be a good idea, i will nevre change, i am so rude, i am so self centre, so materialism, do all these drug, waste my time, bla bla bla bla bla. and then she is braking up with me. all ovre a ski trip, or whatevre. well, i am scream at her back and say some extreme rude things, but i waas not even careing at that point.
anyway, the point is she is make me promise nevre to contakt her again. whatevre, i am promise this. good to be riddance! eccept, two days ago, she is contakt me again. what in the devil is this bull shit? she is make me promise, and then she is brake the promise? what can she be wanting? i shoud not have read the message she is sending me on facebook. but, i did read this message, and basic, she is tell me that she cannot stop crying ovre some bad grades she got in her postgraduate programme, and she is needing someone who is not 'hyper compatitive' about this sort of thing to talk to this situatien about.
well, i am idiotic when it comes to this girl, so i am message her back saying ok, let us talk. and so we chat online. and she is telling me she got these bad grades becuase she is not undrestanding her coursework, it is some vary high level science and maths courses she was having to take for her degree, and though she has always been good at this subject matter, she was just not undrestanding the topics this term, and she thought it was going bad in part becuase she feels anxious about fact that she is only female in one of her classes, and everyone is judge her and she thinks this hurting her test performences and whatevre. well, i am tell her, do not feel bad, women are not too good at the maths.
ok, i will say ferst, that i thougt this was true. i was reading a news article about how the women are bad at 'space logic' (like with shapes, and this sort of thing), and have lower math scores. i was not meaning to offend, i thougt, truly, that it would help ebba to hear this, and undrestand that this situatien was not a fault of hers, but of women.
well, ebba is complete flipping the out. i have nevre had her so angry, and i coud not even see her face, just see what was being typed! she is prove to me with many links that this is untrue, yell at me, call me a moron and a sexiste, just vary angry in general. then she is sign off. to admit it, i did not apologise, which is probable making it worse. but, i did not apologise becuase i was thinking she must be wrong, and instead of listen kept telling her she was wrong and asking why she is never listen to me when i am rigt, and did not admit to myself that i was wrong until i am reading her links about how women being bad at maths and science is not so much true. so, maybe this is making her even more annoy.
ok, i am say to myself, whatevre, maybe now i will learn my lesson and nevre, NEVRE talking to ebba again no matter what she is say to me, nevre thinking about her again, nevre letting her 'getting to me.'
well, that did not work out to great, since yestreday, she is sending me another message on facebook, and i am open it becuase, to defending myself, i was extreme hungovre/still a little drunked and did not realising the message was from her. well, guessing what this message is say. it is only a few lines, and it is telling me, 'sigvard, guess what, in may i had an abortien, and it was at the very last minute, so i was almost five months of pregnant. they could even see the gendre of the baby. well, this is just to letting you know, that i aborted your child, and i hope it bothres you, thogh i am sure you will not even care, becuase you are an ass hole. but i hope it will upset you. so goodbye.'
who in the devil woud send such a message to a person? and the thing of this is, she is rigt, in that i thougt i would not care. i am nevre haveing issue with the abortien and twice when girls thougt they were pregnant, i was going to take them to the docter and pay for the prosedure (thogh with both of them, they were just extreme late, it turns out), and did not care at all, i was just wanting them not to be pregnant. well, it is not as though i would want ebba to have been pregnant or to have a baby, and definite not a child of mine, but, as it is turn out, this informatien is upsetting to me. i do not undrestand it. but, it is upsetting to me.
but even more than i am bothred by this informatien, i am extreme angry that ebba is send me this message at all. what is the point of this? why woud she be attempting to hurting me? it is a blow, of the low kind. i am not knowing how to go forward, is it a bad idea to reply to this? shoud i tell her it did bothre me, and that she is the ass hole for sending the message and calling me ass hole? or shoud i ignore?
the problem is, i can nevre ignore ebba. no mattre how much i am telling myself to ignore, in the end, i am doing something idiotik. what am i to be doing now?
the othre thing about this, is that i am actual vary suspicien that ebba may be lie about this. something about the message is just...suspicien to me. and as annoy and frustrate as ebba can be, it woud be strange of her to not be telling me this in may, since usual she is the kind of person who woud tell these things and not just out of blue contakt months latre with this strange announce. and if she is lying, i will be releive, but even more mad, becuase who in the demon woud be that rude and terribel? but i have to say....i really think she may be lying, and i am vary annoy about the whole situatien.
i am hateing the women, that is all i know. or at least, ebba is the one i hate. i hate romance and i hate ebba.
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Post by Boxface on Dec 8, 2013 4:17:14 GMT -5
UMZ WOWWWW???!!!!??!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!? I DONT HAVE ANY REAL GOOD ADVISE FOR THIS SITUATSHION? THAT IS RREAL REAL BAD AND I AM SORRY YOU ARE still havering ISSUEZ with EBBA!!!!!!!!!!! OKAYZ FIRST i KNO u alreddy kno this now BUTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRLZ R JUST AS GOOD AS GUYZ AT SCI AND MATHS STUFF OKAYZ!!!!!!!!!11 THIS IS BECUZ OF GIRL POWER AND GIRLZ AND BOYZ NOT BEING DIFFERANT!!!!! just as PROOF my half sis kelly is SOSOSOSOSOOSOSOOOOO GOOD AT MATHS AND SCI and is probably doing CHEM when she is at univarsity!!!! SO YEAH!!!!! i mean ya i am real real badz at maths and sci BUTZ i am bad at english and history to!! LOL ANYWAYZ yeah ermmmmmz i dont even kno wat to say??? MAYBE I SHOULD ASKER GREGORY TO LOOK AT THIS LATIR? BECUZ HE IS REALY SMART AND WILL PROBIBLY KNO WAT TO DO!!!!! OR AT LEAST HAVE BETTER ADVISE THEN I DO LOLOLOLOL!!! umz this might not be a good idea but if u dont want to actially send her back a message, maybe I COULD MESSAGE HER FOR U? ?? AND SAY SHE BETTER TELL THE TRUTH ABOT THIS HOLE THING AND ASK WHY SHE KEEPZ MESSAGERING U and tell her to STOP DOING THAT? ? BUTZ YA I cOUD DEFINATELY DO THAT IF U WANT!!!! ALLSO I GESS I AM KINDA CONFUSERED and i am not trying to OFFEND u butz i dont really get why your upset abot the ABORTION? ? MAYBE i am biassed abot this becuz i ALMOST HAD TO GET ONE WHEN I WAS OLNY TWELVE YEARZ OLD (OKAYZ WELL I WASNT ACTULLY PREGNANT I JUST THOT I WAS AND IT TURNED OUT I COULDNT GET PREGNANT IF I WASNT BLEEDERING OR HAVERING SEX butz the POINT is that i THOT i was pregnant and was going to have to get an abortion!!!) and it is NOT A BAD THING OKAYZ? ?? getting pregnant will ruin your life!!!! WICH IS WHY ABORTIONS ARE IMPORTENT!!!! ALLSO it is not actualy a baby?? it is just a PREGNANCY!!!! so i might be confusered but why would you be upset if it is not even a person yet? this is why i never understand the CRASY CHRISTANS who SOMTIMES YELLER at me from across the rode abot stuff like ABORTIONSand say that they kill babiez LOL!!! ONCE I YELLERED BACK THAT THEY KILLED PREGNANCIES AND NOT BABIEZ AND THEY STOPPED YELLERING AND JUST LOOKERED at me so i GESS I WON THAT ARGUMENT LOLLLL ALLSO ya i agree it is really rude to lie!!! and to brake promises abot talkering to peopel when u sed u wouldnt!! i had to deal with that kinda thingy when cillian REFRENDED me on skype with a NEW NAME that i didnt recognise and then started SKYPERING ME ABOT GOD AND HELL!!!!! EVEN THO I BAND HIM FROM MAGICLANS AND BLOCKERED HIM FROM SKYPE AND TELLERED HIM TO NOT CONTACT ME!!!! accept then he did anyway!!! and i had to REBLOCKER HIM and then i kept getting SCARRED evry time i got a frend request on skype becuz WAT IF IT WAS HIM and he was abot to YELLER AT ME!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Sigvard_the_Swede on Dec 8, 2013 5:45:26 GMT -5
thank you for the replying, matilda, i was hope you would come online.
well, unfrotunate, it woud be a vary bad idea for you to talk to ebba yourself, ha ha. this is becuase ebba knows who you are, and she is vary much not liking you. she was always vary suspicien of how much i am talk to you, since it is true, i do not vary much talk to the women like that. i am not so much freinds with women. i am mainly just 'special freinds' with them, ha ha. so i guess i can undrestand these suspiciens, but at same time, i am telling her we are having absolutely NOTHING with each othre, but she is still not believe, which was vary insult and was make me mad. i am tell her about how young you are, about how i have nevre felt so platonic about a female person, about how we practise the englisch togethre, but she is still, i think, convinse that you were/are more than my freind. i am sure you will to find this all vary funny, but man, it was vary annoy to me, and also creepyed me out becuase you are so young and platonic to me.
so that is not really a good idea. also, i am thinking that if i am to reply, i shoud be doing this myself and not involve other people. that is seeming like it make things even more complicate, or some thing. i might also be worry that ebba would be vary upset if she found out i told another person about the abortion (if there even was an abortion,) since she is vary private, and also seems to get mad at the smallest things that i would never even be suspecting that she would get mad at. so i try to be careful with her.
anyway, i am not really sure as to how to explianing why the abortien is upset me. again, abortien is not bothering me at all before yestreday. it is consider vary 'normal' and 'ok' in sverige and i am vary support of it and evrything like that. again, twice in the past i have almost taken people in to getting one, before it turn out that they were not prengant. i am know lots of people who are have partner who had to get abortien. and also, my mothre told me when i was teenage, that she got an abortien when i was five, becuase she was really vary much not wanting another child and was having the huge issues with my fathre at the time, and this does not bothre me and i am vary much undrestand her decision. so i just was wanting to say, abortien is general a good thing and i am not try to insult it or any thing like that.
but also, even thogh i am vary much disagreeing with these people, i can to see why it is upsetting to some people. i am not knowing how much you are know of how the pregnancy and this stuff works, but maybe you are not undrestanding that there is a....er, i am really not knowing the englisch word. in svenska it is 'foster.' let me looking it up.
ok i am look it up, in englisch this word is 'fetus,' and basic, this is what is inside someone when they are pregnancy. and no, it is not yet the person, but it will be a person soon. abortien is stopping the pregnancy, and the way the pregnancy is stop is by take the fetus out (and obvious, this is cause the fetus to die). and this is vary upset to some people. especial if the fetus is pretty old at the time of the abortion. by law in sweden it is not allow to get an abortien passt 18 week unless there is some nonusual reason. that is before the fetus is so old that it can live outside the women, witch is not the possible until about, i think, 24, 25 week or some thing like that, and even that late, it will be a vary unhealth/damage baby. (i am knowing all this, thank to researches i had to do when i was going to go with girls to get abortiens.) any way, that is why it is upset to some people. and even thogh it does not bothre some people to get them, other people get them becuase they are know they should but they are not vary happy about it, and are rathre upset about it some times for a long time. becuase if they had not got one, it would have been their child, and i am thinking you can undrestand why it might be the upset to people to think of this.
any way, i have always thought it would not bothre me at all, and would instead make me relief, if a woman was to get an abortien, and it is not like if ebba had telled me about this when it was happening, that i would suggested to her any thing othre than abortien. trusting in me, i would have been wanting her to get one and we did agree the first time that we were dating, that an abortien is what we would do if some thing like this evre was happen.
but some how, her message is vary upsetting to me. partial, the issue is that i feel that it is vary, vary rude to message me months aftre to tell me this, with no reason, not asking for me to pay her back for the abortien, not tell me i need a new brand of condom since mine was break (not that this would make the sense, since we were not use any, becuase she uses birthing control), or any thing. just telling me this pointlesly, becuase she was wanting to upset me.
but, the othre part of it, is that, without undrestanding why, it is just upsetting to me. maybe, it is becuase i actually vary much am caring for ebba (even thogh i ALSO hate her and think she is a...mean....person. ha ha. that is really not what i was going to say but i am try to be respecting.) and if i was a vary, vary, vary differant person who actually wanted to do things like this i would probable want to marry her. and i am suposing, having children with her. you are undrestand? it is not as thogh i would actually want this, but it is just that i am feel vary strong about her even despite all of the bull shit, and if i was that kind of person, i would want to.
and i mean ebba is kind of say that she is feeling this way as well. well, it was actual pretty confusing how she would talk about this stuff and vary much alarmed me at the time, ha ha. i mean, one time, i am say to her, 'i will nevre marry, but if i was having to, i would marry you,' and she is say 'ja, if they pass a marriage law, i guess i will have to marrying you, usch,' and we are both laufhing at this. and jokes like this. but, a couple time when she was vary drunked, ebba is say stuff to me that complete 'freak outted' me. like, 'sigvard, i keep getting this strange feeling, that some day, we are going to be married.' (and i could not tell, if the 'strange feeling' was upsetting to her, or kind of nice to her, becuase she was smile, but also cry and was seeming upset. and then passed out. so, i am not sure.) or 'sigvard, i had a dream that we had a child togethre, and were having to get married, and i was extreme upset, but then, you were gave me that 'look' and i knew every thing would be ok.' (this 'look' is some face that i apparent make, that my freinds and ebba all are telling me, makes them feel comfort and relax. my freind magnus is calling it 'valium in a smile.' anyway, this was extreme confuse to me as well, as i am really not sure what the dream was actually making her feel, or why she was tell this to me, but then she fell asleep, so who is to know.) and stuff like this, i was found disturbing, becuase, well, girls are always wanting this sort of thing. and i am not wanting this sort of thing. and neithre, as far as i am knowing, is ebba, eccept, stuff like this made me start to worry, maybe she did. but, who is to know. probable, i was just the paranoid.
anyway, the point i am try to make, is that, if i was to have children, it would be with her, and the fact that this apparent almost was to happen, but then she decided against, just 'freaks out' me. it is like, a differant future, that then did not happen, eccept, what if that was the future that was suppose to happen? or what if the child that ebba was dreamed about, was this child, and that was part of a differant reality state coming into our reality state, or a message saying we were suppose to have a child, except we did not have a child, and this was the wrong decision somehow. like what if the abortien is the 'butterfly affect' that will cause something horribel like a terribel accident, or the end of the world or something. i keep thinking things like this. i smoked the marijana the night i got the message, and this was a huge misstake, i had lots of thoughts like this that vary much 'freaked out' me. and then i keep wondre, what if this was fault of mine, that this future did not happen? if i had not said yes to go to copenhagen, we would not have been fighting and would still be togethre when she found the pregnancy, and maybe if we were togethre, she would have kept the pregnancy. again, if this had happened, i probable would be vary rudely pressure her into abortien, so i know that it is pointles to think about this sort of thing and imagine that i would have been ok with the pregnancy, or whatevre. and rigt now, i would have a child that is some thing like two months, or so, and it is not like that sounds good, i have nevre want to be fathre and DEFINIT not now, but still, i am bothred by these thoughts of 'what-if.' what if, it turned out, i actual did like having a child? what if, regarding less of how i felt about it, the future in witch ebba and me are parents was the 'right' future and i am trapped in the 'wrong' world? what if, the child was, i am not even know, like, the next nelson mandela. or the next arronax (a trance musicien of amaze talent). or next noomi rapace (oh god, why do i have to think of her, noomi rapace does not look unlike ebba, which is only making me feel the worse).
it is just makeing me feel the wierd, the idea that, several months ago, i was the fathre of something, and now i am not. and some small part of me that could have been the heir to my fathre's company, was become simply medical waste. i am at least hoping, that they were take it to use in the....fucking to my bad englisch, i have no idea how to say this. stamcellsforskning. google is tell me this is 'stem cells research.' any way, it is a vary importent research about fixing health problems, and they are using abortien stuff for it.
and also, yeah, it is making it a bitt werse to think, that it was half way through pregnancy when the abortien happened. becuase ebba must have gone in right at 18 weeks. and if you are to google what the foster is looking like at this stage, it is looking vary, vary baby. not fish. or whatevre. i was make a big mistake and did this google searching while i was high yestreday, and became extreme 'freak outted.' also, apparent, when you google this, google also is putting similar picture searches at the top, and one of these was 18 week abortien. which made me COMPLETE get freak outted. and now, i cannot stop thinking about these stupid pictures that i cannot believe any one would even post up onto the internet where any one can be forced to view at them while they are freak outted and already feeling bad.
and i mean, they are even know what sex it was. well, now i cannot stop wondreing, but i do not want to ask ebba, and she will probable not even tell to me. but some how, to know this, makes it even werse and 'real/reality seeming.'
plus, i am finding it upsetting, to think that ebba had to do this alone, when i could to go with her and be supporting of her, if i had been knowing of this situatien. and i am wondre, what if she still is upset? what if this is why she is failing at some classes? and i am just thinking of her cry alone, and get vary unhappy think about this.
of the course, i am still suspicien that this whole thing is the lie. and i will be extreme annoy becuase of all this suffre i have had to gone through over this stupid message. but, i am still preferring it to be a lie, and i hope it is, but i am also worry that it is not. and furthre, i am worry that it is true, and that i am a bad persen to be having dout about this.
mainly, i am not sure what in the demon is wrong with me or when i turned into such a complet crying pussy about every thing in life, from girl to abortien.
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Post by Boxface on Dec 8, 2013 17:02:36 GMT -5
OKAYZ SO I AM COMPLETLY FREAKERING OUT AND I REALY HOPE THAT I AM FREAKERING OUT OVER NOTHING BUT I HAVE NO IDEA AND THAT IS FREAKERING ME OUT EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!1!!! but anywayz!!!! I WILL GET to the FREAKEROUT LATER!!! BECUZ OTHER STUFF IS ACTUALLY MORE IMPORTINT RITE NOW!!!!!! umz okayz so i kinda cant belive ebba woud thinker that u and me were doing somthing bad? u must have forgottin to tell her that im in love with GREGORY LOL!!!!!! AND I WOULD NEVAR EVAR CHEATER ON HIM BECUZ CHEATERING IS NOT OKAYZ AND ALLSO I AM IN LOVE WITH GREGORY SO I WOULD NEVAR CHEAT ON HIM!!!!!!! OKAYZ? ?? i mean okayz so there has been some ISSUEZ latly but that doesnt mean i would CHEATER!!! ACTUALY I AM GOING TO POSTER ABOT THESE ISSUEZ! ((GREGORY STOP READING BEFORE THOSE LAST TWO SENTACNES BECUZ I do NOT want u to read this!!!! NOT becuz of anything bad!!! i just dont want to make you UPSET/WORRYED!!!!1! SO!!! if u acsidentily red those sentances saying i was having some problims with u than LOLLLL I WAS JUST KIDDERING AND I DIDNT ACTUALLY MEAN IT SO PLZ DONT GET WORRYED AND OUR RELASHIONSHIP IS PERFECT AND AMASERING AND THERE are NO problims!!!!! I LOVE GREGORY AND HE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE!!!! IT WAS A JOKE!!!!! ANYWAYZ!!!! WOW UMZ I DONT EVIN KNO WAT TO SAY? I KNO I JUST KEEP SAYING THAT but i siriusly DO NOT kno wat u should do??? I ASKERED GREGORY TO COME LOOK AT THIS BUTZ!!!!!! HE IS SOSOSOSOSOOOOO BUSY RITE NOW WITH SCOOL AND STUFF LIKE THAT!!! ACTUALLY this is one of the PROBLIMS i was talkering abot!!! (((ACCEPT NOT REALLY BECUZ THEIR ARE NO PROBLIMS AND EVRYTHING IS PERFECT AND GRATE AND I CANNOT WATE TO MARRY GREGORY WHO IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE)))) butz yeah!!! as soon as he can he will come read this and tell u wat to do???/ at least in HIS opinion!!1 WICH is not ALWAYZ RITE, WICH IS SOMTHING I HAVE LEARNT, LOL (THIS IS ALLSO A JOKE AND PLZ DONT READ THIS GREGORY) anywayz!!!1 im sorry for getting AGERTATED with you abot ABORTION STUFF!!! I kno u are not one of those crasy people who screamers about how it should be ilegal and stuffz like that becuz you are a GOOD PERSON!!! BUTZ i just WANTERD TO MAKE SURE!!!!! ALRIGHT!!!! now it is time for the FREAKERING OUT!!!!!1 okayz so sigvard it turnz out i do NOT kno too much abot bio science!!!! lolz that should PROBIBLY NOT BE TO SUPRISING CONSSIDERING THAT I TOTILLY FALED THE FIRST TIME I TOOK IT AND BARLEY PASSED THE SECOND TIME AND THAT TIME WAS OLNY BECUZ I WAS KINDA LOOKERING AT THE STUFF THE GUY NEXT TO ME WAS WRITING SOME OF THE TIME LOL (DO NOT read this gregory and NO ONE tell gregory abot that LOL) WICH i did not actualy kno was agenst the rules until AFTER i took the class so it is okayz i think!! (((i thot that CHEATERING was if u STOLE answers!!! LIKE HOW A CHEATERING PERSON STEALS ANOTHER PERSON'S HUSBIND/WIFE/PERSON!!! NOT if u were just lookering!!! BECUZ somtimes i cant help where my eyez are going and still kinda dont get why i woud get punnished for cheatering when it was my eyes fault but watever LOL ANYWAYZ!!! yeah so i DID NOT kno all the stuff u sed abot how PREGNINCY WORKS!!! and now i am PRETTY FREAKERED OUT!!!! I KINDA HAD NO IDEA THAT THE BABY WAS IN THERE THE WHOLE TIME? ?? wen mum explannered it to me she sed it starts as cells (i still kinda dont get wat those thingys are lol but they are invisible so basicly they dont exist) and TURNZ into a baby and that is why a BABY comes out at the end!!!! well she sed alot of other stuff to but i wasnt listening too good!! Mum has this ANOYING HABBIT of EXPLANNERING STUFF TO ME OVER AND OVER AGEN EVEN WEN I DONT CARE!!! she sayz its becuz it takes a LONG TIME for stuff to sink into me!!! LOL IDK ITS JUST ANOYING ALOT OF THE TIME!!! ANYWAYZ I HAT LISTENING TO HER TALKER FOREVER ABOT STUFF THAT IS BORRING so i was NOT listening much becuz i do NOT enjoy bio science!! and i am NOT pregnant so it does NOT matter too much!!1 BUTZ ANYWAYZ I KINDA ALWAYZ PICTURED IT NOT LIKE U ARE DISCRIBING? ? The way i pictured it was more like how u make tofu in a box??? like u kno how when u are making SOFT TOFU you pore the SOY MILK STUFF into a box and then u let it SIT THERE and then when you openn it it turns into TOFU instead of soy milk? WELL THAT IS HOW I THOT IT WORKED PRETTY MUCH!!! like the baby is just a LIQUIDD MADE OF CELLS UNTIL IT IS READY TO BE BORN??? OR AT LEAST, WHEN IT IS CLOSE TO BEING BORN??? i remember mum started going into labour a REAL long time (like a lot of weeks!!!) before she ACTUALLY had LUCY!! AND SAMMY!!! so i kinda thot when LABOUR started, the CELL LIQUIDS WOUD BECOME A BABY and if the mum still didnt give birth for a lot more weeks the baby woud just use that time to GET BIGGER and thats what those pictures in my textbooks and things were of werid looking animals and then babys getting bigger??? LIKE I THOT THOSE WERE THE BABYS WHEN THEY WERE LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND THEY CHANGED ALOT EVERY DAY??? ACCEPT APARENTLY NOT??? AN ACTUAL BABY IS GROWING IN THERE THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!!! AND IT TAKES MONTHS TO CHANGE LIKE THAT? ? AND FROM WAT I AM READING ON GOOGLE THERE is NO SUCH THING as a CELL LIQUIDD? ?? OMGZ I AM SO CONFUSED THO BECUZ WHEN I ASKED MUM if it was LIKE MAKERING TOFU SHE SAID YEAH KINDA!!!! and there is definately liquidds involved in tofu!!! ACCEPT NOW THAT I AM THINKERING ABOT IT, TOFU IS PROBABLY NOT LIQUIDD UNTILL U OPEN IT!! ACTUALLY IT PROBABLY TURNS SOLID GRADUATELY just like a baby grows GRADUATELY!!!! omgz i cant believe i nevar knew this and i am KINDOF freakering out rite now!!!! AND OKAYZ THE BIGGEST REASON I AM FREAKERING OUT IS I THOT ABORTION WAS JUST GETTING RID OF CELL LIQUIDD (WHICH IS INVISIBLE!) accept now it turns out cell liquidd is not real and there is actually a baby growing inside people the INTIRE NINE MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i am sosososooo confusered??? BECUZ IT CANT BE POSSIBLE THAT ABORTION IS KILLING BABYS!!!!! BECUZ ABORTION IS SUPOSED TO BE A GOOD THING AND KILLING is DEFINATELY a bad thing!!!!!!! OMGZ WHAT IF THE CRASY YELLERING PEOPEL ARE RITE AND ABORTION IS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD NO IDEA it actually killed VISIBLE AND NONLIQUID STUFF AND I AM FREAKERING OUT!!! I ALMOST GOT ONE you know!!!!! WAS I BRANEWASHED AND IS ABORTION ACTUALLY A BAD AND EVIL THING? ?? PLZ RESPOND SOMEONE who UNDERSTANDS SCIENCE!!!1!! i am freakering out real bad! AND IF IT TURNS OUT THAT ABORTION IS EVIL I THINK YOU SHOULD SUE EBBA FOR MURDER SIGVARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111! MY BIO DAD IS A LAWYER AND I CAN GIVE U HIS PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!11
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Henry Rimbaud.
Junior Member
My best friend's step-sister made me join
Posts: 79
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Post by Henry Rimbaud. on Dec 11, 2013 0:47:25 GMT -5
I don't really have the time or inclination at the moment to address any of the drivel in this thread, but I simply must know:
Matilda, can it actually be possible that prior to yesterday you did not realise how pregnancy functioned and you thought it was analogous to the process of making tofu? Except that you also do not understand how tofu is made, despite the fact that it was a class project of ours.
Please, gods of the deep, reassure me that you are jesting or failing to convey your true thoughts, inhibited, yet again, by your clumsy, stumbling grasp upon the lovely, swooning, moody English language.
If you cannot reassure me of this, I may simply go weep and dose myself with laudanum. You are a mature (in a strictly...for fear of being graphic, but...in a biological sense; rest assured I am not bestowing compliments upon your degree of emotional and mental sophistication) woman. Dear God. Try paging through a book sometime. I think you have a certain duty to the world to be aware of how your body functions. And to ensure that it does not produce a child.
Forgive me for being blunt, but my dears, I can no longer pretend not to see the bristly ugly world as it truly is, and I refuse to oppress myself by denying my honest and incisive thoughts to all who wish to hear them. They are barbs sailing on the wind, all. Catch them if you like. But do not blame the hunter who casts them if you consequently fall to the musty waste of the primordial forest floor, spitting blood and moaning in pain.
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Post by Sigvard_the_Swede on Dec 11, 2013 4:33:05 GMT -5
I don't really have the time or inclination at the moment to address any of the drivel in this thread, but I simply must know: ja, well, i am also haveing the time or the want to be responding to the stupid things in this thread. just so you are knowing, you are the one who is saying this stupid things. also, i am drunked and i am not wanteing to deal with typing a lot. other wise, i would say a lot more, both to you and also in the generall, but whatevre. Matilda, can it actually be possible that prior to yesterday you did not realise how pregnancy functioned and you thought it was analogous to the process of making tofu? Except that you also do not understand how tofu is made, despite the fact that it was a class project of ours. why are you even to caring? why is this mattreing and why are you just try to argue in the thread where i am look for the advise and not the stupid and idiotik opiniens of you. Forgive me for being blunt, but my dears, I can no longer pretend not to see the bristly ugly world as it truly is, and I refuse to oppress myself by denying my honest and incisive thoughts to all who wish to hear them. They are barbs sailing on the wind, all. Catch them if you like. But do not blame the hunter who casts them if you consequently fall to the musty waste of the primordial forest floor, spitting blood and moaning in pain. may be you should go get some one to stick an arrow inside you. in the ass of you. i am suspicien that you would enjoy this.
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Post by Gregory on Jan 16, 2014 19:49:29 GMT -5
Hm, that is indeed a rather troubling and perplexing situation. I'm sorry you're going through it. I would really hate to think someone would purposefully lie to someone else about an abortion simply to nettle them. Has Ebba ever given any indication that she would do something so manipulative and callous?
You may want to consider that she is not in fact lying about this, and rather has only now begun to process what happened. It may be that despite her pretense of asking for a sympathetic ear about her school troubles, she was in fact looking for a way to broach the topic of the abortion. I think it unlikely - unless she has proven in the past to be manipulative in this way - that she would withhold this information simply to later spring it on you as punishment. Like you, she seems to have been very upset by this situation, and may have needed or at least thought she needed time alone to process it.
It may also be that, as she prepared to broach the unhappy subject, she was consequently more reactive than she might otherwise have been, and lashed out at you (in reaction to your admittedly very obnoxious comment, though I see that you have retracted your statements about women in the sciences) in the most immediate and obvious way possible by telling you in very blunt and hurtful terms what she had wanted to say more eloquently.
But keep in mind that I am not an expert in psychology or relationships. I also do not mean to insult you by asking why you are so insistent that she is 'probably lying' about this.
I might also make the gentle suggestion that you avoid future entanglements with this particular person, should the opportunity present itself, since things never seem to go well and only hurt you. It pains me to see someone so hurt by a relationship.
Edit: Henry, please remember to stay on topic. Thank-you!
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Post by Sigvard_the_Swede on Jan 16, 2014 22:15:03 GMT -5
well, as it is turning out, gregory was the right, and i am feeling like the complete ass hole.
i was thinking i should give the update of this situatien.
basic, i was manage to distract myself all kristmas and new year, by go on great vacatien and have great partys and all this thing. i was not even go on facebook basicly, and was barely even to think of ebba. okay, that is actual a lie. i was thinking of ebba. i was thinking of ebba much, much of the time that i was not drunked or doing the drugs. but i was to keep telling my self, 'no, sigvard, she is a lying [bad word] who is just doing ass hole things to you and you should stop obsess over her.'
then, i am go home for the family visits and these un plasant things that you have to do around the new year holidays and wintre and all this. i am not enjoying seeing my family. my fathre, he is an ass hole. my mothre, she is vary annoy, she is hug too much, take to much kokane, have annoy boyfriends, be self centre, talk aboute boring thing, etc. she is still bettre then my fathre though. my fahtre, he is just a rude hippocrite who just tells me that i am lazy and bad. and they both smoke, my fathre the cigars and my mothre the cigarets (she was quit at one time but now she is doing it again) even though this is hurting my lungs. and they almost every year insist that we all get togethre for a family gathreing and dinner and these thing, even though my parents hate each othre, i have no intrest in such things, and it is nevre going vary well.
well, this time at least we are meeting in a public place so my fathre cannot yell at me that much as he usually does for wasting money and not doing the family business and the drugs and party and all this. we were at a good restraunt in malta and i thought, maybe everything would go okay, even if fathre and mothre both were blowing the smoke at me and saying annoying things, and this stupid germann boyfriend of mothre was smiling at me in ass hole way that i did not like and would not to take off his stupid reflective ski glasses entire time, and was to use douche bag looking e-cigaret with huge vapour clouds that were to blow all ovre my face and food and this stuff) and my uncle and his girlfriend were both annoy becuase of how drunked they were getting.
but then my fathre has to bring up ebba. he is asking me why we are break up, what is keep happening to us, why i am not hold on to her, bla bla bla. he is tell me that he was talk with her fathre and they both were upset that we keeped dumping each othre because our behavior had been so much bettre when we were togethre (in the sense of, i was not party QUITE as much, and ebba was not dateing a russien). well, great. i am just saying i am not wanting to talk aboute it but my fathre is insist and everyone is tease me for being 'in love' or whatevre and i unfortunate only made it worse by flip out and get vary angry and storm away to light the marijauna cigaret. number one, walking away angry is make everyone laugh at me for being such a 'girl,' number two, i am immedaite get stopped by some stupid polise guy in the street who is demand to know what i am doing.
i am tell him, 'getting high, go away,' and the mothre fucker is handcuff me. apparent, malta is vary not cool aboute the marijauna, at least not in that neighborhod. when they found out my parents were in the restraunt they went and fetched them and my fathre probable payed the polise or somthing becuase they let me go, but not before they were search me all ovre and take all my stuff (probable to use on there own), my mushroom, my papres, my marijauna, my pipe, all this. lucky i was not carry the kokane with me becuase that maybe would have got me in actual trouble. it just made me the really mad, sinse my mothre was not two minutes before coming to the polise car snorting the kokane in the bathroom from the look of her nostril, but i am the one getting in trouble, just for try to calm down a littel with the marijauna.
anyway, my fahtre is announce i am 'out of control' when we are getting back to the table. he is tell me that the only time he has evre saw me in control was when i was the boy friend of ebba. so, for the good of me, her, and everyone, i was to contakt her immediate, apologise 'for whatevre ass hole thing you did to her,' and ask her on a date. i am refuse, we are fight, restraunt is upset, fathre is give me ultimatum: i talk to ebba, or he restricts my accounts to practical nothing. and he will ask her fathre if i talked to her.
so that night i am get extreme drunk and go on facebook to message ebba. unfortunate, sinse i was drunk and an idiot, i sent her a message titled 'fuck you.' and the contents of this message was not much bettre. basicly i am tell her, 'i know you are lying to me aboute this 'abortien' just to get back at me. well, YOU are the ass hole. screw you. do you even know how much this was upset me? i cannot even stop thinking aboute this. and ja, i feel terribel, so you got this wish of yours, ebba. i feel terribel that my possibel child was abort, i feel terribel that you did not tell and suprise me with this, i feel terribel aboute the fact that we are broke up, because i am an idiot and am still obsess with you and still think aboute you all the time, so fuck you. also, you lied to me, so go to demon. congratulatien, ebba, you have ruin my life. you braked my heart. i hope it was worth it. bitch.'
then i was decide to do 'research' aboute all this and went back through all of ebba's timeline (for a while she had me blocked, so i could not see it through all spring and summre and i admit i was curios and vary hoping i would not see her posteing aboute kolya or some thing.). well, mostly i am scroll through all this stuff that i did not care aboute, her posts aboute university, photos of her doing boring thing with random peopel, photos of leafs she found, or whatevre. i did care aboute the summre beach fotos. and the foto of her with some guy who i was not likeing the look of at a school evant. and her leaving a note on kolya's wall aboute how a good freind is forevre. that maked me vary nervous aboute kolya possibley making moves on ebba. even though (at that point) i was also hate ebba and hope she has a horribel life and do not even care what she does.
but then i am finding these suspicien posts from may, vary vauge. 'tomorrow i have to do some thing vary hard, and i am scared, but i guess i have to believe this is the right thing.' then all from the same day: 'some times doing the right thing feels like doing the wrong thing, even if you know its not.' 'i cannot stop crying today.' 'its okay, dont ask me what is wrong, i am okay. it is over now.' and this sort of thing. right around the time that this abortien would have to happened. and combine with a post in april saying 'i just do not know what to do. what is happening in my life' and again saying 'no don't ask what's wrong, i am just haveing an issue,' one in end of march saying 'i can't believe this is happening' with no other explain, and another from end of march saying 'wow, this is perfect, just perfect. my entire life is fall apart right now' again with no explain. well.
i basicly freaked outted, becuase all this maked me realise, the chances of ebba to be lying aboute the abortien were vary low. and i was a gigantik ass hole for not beleiving her and for send that message aboute it. and i was to realise what gregory is saying, that she was probably contakt me becuase she finally was want to tell me aboute it. i do not know why she would not tell me before, may be she was still to mad aboute the brakeup. i was send her a new message titled 'don't read first message PLEASE' and writed a new one saying i just read her timeline and i do not think she is lying any more and i was vary sorry and that ja i was really upset by this news, so if her goal was to hurt me, she was success, and that all this was just makeing me realise how much i missed talking to her, seeing her, all this, and wrote aboute how i still thought of her all this time, even during partys and doing othre things, and no one of my friends understood and even i am not undrestanding, but something aboute her is just so perfect and even if we are just friends i just want to keep seeing her. (ok, the last part was the lie, i would never be ok just to be friends while feeling this way aboute her, i want to kiss her, hold hands, fuck her, whatevre, and could not stand to hang out with her and not do this, but whatevre, it is what they call the 'white/innocent' lie.)
anyway then she is text me and just say, sigvard, i read the messages (yes, both) and we should really be meeting each other to talk and see each other. well, i was not sure what this was to mean. there were no smiley or angrey faces or othre detales. so i did not know if she was mad or upset or pleased or any thing. but i was guessing, mad and upset. so i am just text back, ja, i will text you by the week end and set a time to meet and talk. becuase i was thinking we should at least just talk aboute the abortien stuff and the issues we have had and agree that we should not see each othre any more since we seem to upset each othre and i seem to damage ebba's life a lot. i was thinking, ja, this could be 'closure.'
any way, it is just so happening that the next day i am haveing to see my fathre for lunch, which i hate, but whatevre. and he is make me meet at this fancy tea botanical garden next to the lake or whatevre where he knows all the waitresses (and probable is fucking half of them) and it was so terrible, but then half way through the salad, in walks his 'special guest.' my demon fathre thinked it was a great idea to invite his close friend to have lunch with us and for the close friend to bring his daughter along. yes, the friend was fathre of ebba. ass hole fathre of mine! this lunch was so terribel and awkward, ebba and i barley could look at each othre (but, when i could look up at her, i could not help but noticing how beautiful she was looking in white) and it was huge awful disastre. then when the fathres went outside to smoke togethre they telled us 'take a walk' in a vary annoy, smiling way like they are trying to set us up on a date and sended us into the garden.
well, i was thinking, fine, we can have our big horribel discussien here. at least we have saved time. i was thinking, ebba was so mad at me, it was going to be so bad, and all this. we are walking awkwardly for a while becuase i am not knowing how to start this discussien of 'so ja...we were a bad couple i guess...i am sorry.' but then ebba smiles at me and says she has nevre read anything nicer then the second message. and she cannot stop thinking aboute me. and we sit on a bench and she tells me all aboute the abortien stuff. basicly, she did not tell me becuase she was positive i would have a horribel reactien and be vary mean to her as revenge for the brakeup. by 'horribel reactien' she meant, along the lines of how i telled vary inappropriate dead baby and abortion jokes to her grandmothre and relatives one time, and did not find abortien bothresome, and would just rudely tell her to shut up and get one. and maybe, i would have, the way i used to be. i guess i use to be kind of an ass hole. but, now i know i would nevre do this.
i explained all my emotions aboute her messages and apologised aboute the sexism thing and said i was an ass hole but i was trying to get bettre and this stuff, and i just missed her, no girl had ever in a million years been like this to me. she could not beleive i had such an intense reaction to the abortien, that i was concerned aboute how she had to go alone and how she was doing now and stuff (though she at least promises this is not the cause of her school problems), and this sort of thing. she was apologise for undrestimate me and for not tell me, becuase i deserved to know, and this stuff. and she kissed me, and this stuff. and, becuase i am a pussy now i guess, i cryed a littel and said i still felt terribel aboute the whole tihng and wierd aboute the abortien and she said, 'we will support each othre' and we were decide to get back togethre.
and we had the nicest walk and i did not even think once aboute how much i was wanting to go do mdma or whatevre that night, i just wanted to be with her.
it was turn out our fathres ditchd us at the garden and droved away without us, so i drove back to her place with her and i am staying there since tuesday.
so ja we are back togethre and it is pretty great and all this, all though now i keep wondreing even more what it would be like, since we are in the same flat, if we were parents right now, and stuff, and it freaks out me. i keep thinking aboute what if that had happened and stuff, eccept it didn't, and what if that was the butterfly effect and all this. cutting down on the marijauna has help, but still i do have these thoughts. ebba is not approving of the marijauna so i only am using it when i go for walks alone (i have not been out with friends/at partys yet), so i cut down, and i guess i am feeling bettre useing less. i do not even know. i am wondreing if maybe ketamine will maybe make me feel bettre. i will try this week end. most people are hateing the k hole, but i actually try to get stuck in k holes, becuase i am finding it vary great and relax and cool. so maybe i will try this.
but ja, i can only admit all this here becuase all my friends will judge me as a little bitch. to be feeling so strong aboute a girl and being upset aboute the abortion and whatevre. i am upset though, i still am not undrestanding why, but i am upset. ebba is showed me the altrasounds they took, and telled me the sex (male). i looked at these becuase i knew it would make her feel bettre to share these with me but mostly i got only freaked outted and upset. what if that little thing in the ultrasound is still out there some where? like as a kind of ghost of negative enargy or some thing? and it must hate me for bringing it alive and then haveing it die. i am scared this might be bad karma in the future for me or some thing. i do not beleive ebba did a bad thing by aborting or anything like that, no, i beleive that i did the bad thing by putting her in that position. i do not know how but maybe this was my fault. maybe i did something. i just feel guilty that i caused this pregnancy. and that now it is long gone.
i cannot even beleive i feel this way aboute a stupid bunch of cells. but i do, i even am feeling bad for calling it stupid, it was not stupid, it was my son. well, ja, it probable was pretty stupid at that point, even nine month babys are stupid. but you know what i am meaning.
i think maybe i should to go to sleep now, i am pretty high right now, and it is freaking me the out a bit.
i just at least am happy that me and ebba are back togethre, and that is at least a good thing in this life of mine.
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Post by Sigvard_the_Swede on May 9, 2014 19:42:26 GMT -5
well, fucking to the hell. that was not even to last five months, this time. okay, i am not trying to have overdramatics, so i will say, she did not brake up with me. but it is about that bad.
honest, i am so pissed the off at her right now i am not even knowing if i want to be togethre again. well, this is a lie, i definite want to be togethre again. but, i am also so fucking the pissed off and i hope ebba goes to hell. eccept, i do not. becuase i am the idiot who is still loving her in the spite of fucking bull shit moves she is pulling.
basic, she is being the extreme woman stereo type, and was freaking the out becuase she thinks i am cheating. for past couple months, ebba was sudden start to freak the out about this idea of me cheating on her. what in the fucking? okay, i am admitting that i am nevre having to test this before, becuase ebba is my only relatienship, before her i was only sleeping with and nevre doing relatienship and usual, nevre seeing the girl again unless we were on the same party scene in stockholm and were to end up fucking some more times, but the point is, nevre have i been considering to cheat on her. i am supposedly haveing the "sex addictien," some thing even ebba is telling me i have, but i am not really beleiving this. regard of the less, i am haveing an extreme need for the sex.
well, that is not meaning i have an extreme need for diffrent people as long as i am able to get what i am needing. beleive me, i am getting what i am needing right now, and in fact, this has been vary nice over the years, as i do not have to bothre with getting dressed, looking sexy, dealing with my car and parking whenevre i am wanting to get layd, instead i can stay in the flat, eat sausaje (YOU KNOW I AM MEANING THE FOOD, okay), getting high without worrys of getting ticketed for toxic driving, watch tv aftre,and this kind of stuff. ebba has the high drive too, so we are good togethre. i am serios when i am saying, nevre have i even been thinking of cheating on ebba. fucking to the hell, i am in love with this girl, why would i be wanting to cheat.
but, ebba is the parenoid. in some way, i can undrestand this and not be upsett ovre it, as kolya (ass hole ex boyfreind of ebba, who is a russien demon of worst variety, who i am even punch one time, who was a ass hole to me and horribel to ebba) had been cheating on her when she was with him. kolya is the only othre person she is evre with, so she is expecting me to treat her bad like he did. in the addition, her fathre is also cheater. her mothre is died when she was young, but even then she was aware of his cheating on her mothre. and when he was marryed to her step mothre when she was a teen ager, he was also cheating on the step mothre and she was aware of this, and it was fucked her up to have to experiance this, i guess. she is now vary parenoid of cheating. previous, this was not really a problem, eccept for her obsess that i was going to cheat on her as accident while drunked/high back when she was obsess that i needed to cut down on the drugs. but out of no where, she is begin to obsess that i am cheating.
she is thinking that 'this is all too good, there must be a bad suprise waiting for me, like with kolya' and 'i am not deserving a faithfull partner' and this kind of stuff, and i am trying to calm her down, but she was extreme emotional. she was allready the upset becuase of the anivarsary of her abortien. so i could not to calm her down.
also, she is parenoid that i am not able to do the committing, as she is beleiving that my history is indicate that i am inable to stay with one person and will start to cheat. even though i am telling her i am wanting no one else. she is constant suspicious of where i am going, who i am texting, this sort of thing. allways ask, 'why are you point the phone away from me" (i am not doing this) and 'who the demon is malin and why is she text you" (a relative), ect. this was the annoy, but i was also undrestanding that she was vary upsett and that her back ground was make her the parenoid.
but then yestreday, things are get complete fucked up. i am receive...well, now i am questioning whethre to talk aboute this, but there are no names to attach to this, well, anyway, i am getting this weird message from girl on facebook who i am considre good freind of platonik variety. she is telling me she is wanting to brake up with her boyfreind and this thing, and maybe we should be getting togethre. and then lots of the suggestive messages. what in the demon? this was vary unexpect. well, unfortunate, this girl is some one ebba is extreme suspciious of and constant is accuse me of cheating with. i had to left the screen up and was going to respond saying no, and asking where in the demon all this is come from, and this sort of thing, but i was get up for a moment and ebba was come home, see the screen, and complete flip the out and not beleieve anything i am saying about what is happen.
we are haveing enormos fight, possible the worst fight evre. and ebba is tell me we are going on a brake and i need to get out of her flat. i am demanding to know if we are broken up, she is insist, no, she is needing time to think. she is not knowing. well, great. i am leave. i was so pissed the off. i could not even to beleive how unlucky i am, how unreasonable ebba is being, what in the demon has even gone wrong in life of mine. as it is to turn out, freind of mine who is send the messages, was vary drunked at the time, she is to apologise, things are normal again with her. but not with ebba. she is act like she is the one who is getting screwed ovre with this relatienship brake, when really it is me, since i am doing nothing wrong and was nevre expecting this to happen.
i am so the pissed off. and so i am going to go party in prague for the entire weekend and basic just rage in precise the manner that ebba is hate so much. i am so excite to get complete fucked up and forget all this bull shit, and have immense amount of fun and final make a fucking awsome new facebook party album. so ha ha, the joke, it is on you, ebba.
i cannot even to beleive this. fucking to this. i know, if i was smart, i would just brake up with ebba, move across the world or some thing. but, i am not smart. still i am panic ovre the possible the ebba will really brake up with me. so, this is great.
what in the demon am i suppose to do now?
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